Progress, maybe

The last few days have been challenging. I haven’t been able to write because I became so sick of the nagging voice in my head constantly whining.

I couldn’t do it anymore.

Now, I feel like I am in a better place. At least for the time being. I still don’t have anything figured out. For instance, I am still overeating like a pig who hasn’t ever seen food before and keeps devouring more of it.

Damn okay, I should not be referring to myself as a pig, but that is how I feel.

I don’t want to keep hurting myself anymore. Yet, I continue to do so. I don’t know how to stop.

At least now, I don’t want to hurt myself. Also, I can escape my head sometimes and be present.

And honestly, that is all I can ask for, being in the present, living in the now, and experiencing the world around me.

That is progress.

However, I want to not be so attached to food. It always makes me feel terrible. But I am so weak sometimes. Even though I know it will be bad for me, I still indulge. Sometimes I can restrain myself, but it is so rare and doesn’t last.

That is all I have for this one.

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Keira Waters

Keira Waters

mostly writing about my thoughts and experiences