It’s getting late. I don’t really have anything to say, but I want to keep writing my thoughts. My mind is mostly clear, except for the blanket of sleepiness that weighs down my limbs and urges my eyes to close.

I am curious. Hungry for something I cannot name. But oh how I crave it. My mind, body, and soul are starved of this growth, this desire for change. But so much is always changing. I am confused by my wants. They seem to betray me. I don’t know why I say that, but it seems true. More true than even I know.

Let me spill out the darkness that fills me, and the light that brightens the world. That last part of the sentence was not what we were going for, but it is what came out.

I am we. It concerns people so much when I refer to myself as a plural. Why? Aren’t I a collection of many parts? Aren’t we all? Are we actually all the same?

I feel like all life is the same. We are all combined with the same atoms. We are all just energy and matter and consciousness.

Consciousness is such an interesting topic of discussion. I feel like each person's consciousness interacts with everything around it. We are constantly influencing each other. Changing the direction and pattern of life as we know it. But is any of it real?

I often feel like we are all in a game. That life is actually a big joke. This is an unpopular option whenever I bring it up. I think because it terrifies people. But even if it were a game it doesn’t matter too much anyway because we are still living in it. This is the only life we will experience.

I’m starting to sound rather odd, it is mostly because of exhaustion. I am a woman of science, of physics, but I like to travel down these possibilities to see where they lead. It is fascinating to me.

Enough about that though. However, now I feel a loss of words. That is okay. Everything will be okay. (Something I tell myself when it is most definitely not okay).

That is all I have; until next time.

-Keira Waters