Childhood Castle

I remember being a child and being alone in my thoughts. I had built a kingdom in my head to protect myself from those who would hurt me.

Photo by Dave Reed on Unsplash
Photo by Hailey Kean on Unsplash
Photo by Tony Findeisen on Unsplash

Growing up, I had a lot of anger. I have never really been very good at communicating my emotions to people, even now, it is still something I struggle with.

However, I began to find coping mechanisms to deal with all of this rage I felt. Usually, it involved me being removed from the situation and in my room by myself.

In my mind, there are distinct flashes of memories that I have while being angry in my room. Most of which ended with me being able to calm myself and enjoy the time alone.

I remember being very small when you can still spend time comfortably in an average size closet when I was gifted a castle.

It was one that had trap doors, pho walls, secret passageways, and a bunch of different levers, cranks, and gears. The figurines were of mini, stocky men in battle outfits preparing for attackers.

This little playset has impacted my life on a level that I can’t begin to comprehend. It has allowed me to appreciate deception as a tool for defense. It has engaged me in the concepts of hidden mysteries and discoveries, seeking to create and uncover those mirages. While also, helping me find balance in a time where I feel my life is completely out of control.

Of course, at the time, I was thinking none of this. I was just playing. And I was happy to play.

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